Saturday, November 4, 2017

She's Got the Wrong Guy: Why Smart Women Settle - by Deepak Reju

The control freak. The angry man. The lazy guy. The unteachable guy. The promiscuous man. The unbeliever. The lone ranger. The unchurched guy. The new convert. The commitment-phobe.
For any woman who has struggled with failed relationships, this may seem like a familiar list. These are the men your friends and family have in mind when they think, "she's with the wrong guy." And while the reasons women choose these types of men are complicated and varied, ultimately, they will all let you down.
In She's Got the Wrong Guy, Deepak Reju offers a different kind of dating book, discussing the types of guys women should not marry and offering biblical reasons why they aren't suitable spouses. Writing from his years of experience as a pastor and counselor, Reju shares with women his perspective on how to assess a relationship's strengths from the beginning, how to identify possible pitfalls, and how to have the courage to wait for a relationship that will be a blessing for both of you. Using stories that single women can relate to and highlighting contemporary issues in the modern world of dating, Reju gives readers clear, biblical direction on how to have positive, life-giving relationships with members of the opposite sex.
With a strong, Christ-centered focus, women will better understand why they "settle" for less than what God intends for their romantic relationships and learn to put their hopes and find their happiness in Jesus, not marriage.
My review:
This was a fascinating book full of wonderful advice!  I mainly requested to review this because I was curious what the ten types of men to avoid were and the warning signs.  There was a chapter on each with a story of a woman dating this type of man and the signs of the problem to look out for, along with pointing out that the problem will only get worse after marriage since people are on their best behavior when dating.  Reju first had a chapter looking at why women settle for these kinds of relationships and that some of the possibilities are the high emphasis put on marriage as the most important thing to the point where it becomes an idol, emotional baggage, love being blind, fear, etc.  He reminded us that Jesus needs to be the most important and our first love.  I really liked that he emphasized this and talked quite a bit about putting Jesus in the number one spot in your life.  Only He can truly make us content.  Reju also had a great chapter on why waiting is okay and how to wait well.  I found it sad to see these women compromise their happiness, their faith and sometimes their morals just to stay with a guy in the hope that they'll get married someday, even if the guy treats you like dirt.  Unfortunately, I know a couple friends who have done this and they're miserable.  I highly recommend this book for all teen girls and single women and even single men as they need their eyes opened to the dating options they should avoid or, for the men, avoid becoming.
I received this book free from Litfuse Publicity in exchange for an honest review.
Deepak Reju, MDiv, PhD, serves as the pastor of biblical counseling and families at Capitol Hill Baptist Church (CHBC) in Washington, DC, as well as president for the board of directors of the Biblical Counseling Coalition. He is the author of several books and articles, including "Great Kings of the Bible: How Jesus Is Greater than Saul, David and Solomon," "The Pastor and Counseling," and "On Guard: Preventing and Responding to Child Abuse at Church." Deepak and his wife Sarah have been married since 2001 and have five children.
Find out more about Deepak at

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